Always have, always will
by JamieCalladine
Summary: A Clato fanfic in the form of a letter from Cato to Clove, just after Clove's death. Hope you feel.


Dear my beautiful Clove,

I don't know how I'll get through writing this letter, never mind the rest of my life. I swore to always protect you, but now you're gone. You always knew me as no one else did, from the day we met in the academy, I knew you were different. You weren't like all the other blood-thirsty cretins they put us with. While everybody else was psyched that they even got into the academy, you were the quietest. You were so mysterious, I just had to know more, and when you showed everyone how amazing you were at throwing knives, and everyone was just completely amazed, you were so modest, and kind and brushed off everyone that congratulated you with that beautiful smile of yours, you ignited some fire inside of me. From that moment on the first day i saw you, I knew I was gone forever. Do you remember, it took me 4 whole days to work up the courage just to talk to you! I don't think I ever told you that I dropped my spear on purpose, I made sure it rolled right over to you, and being the wonderful person you are, I knew you'd pick it up to give it back to me. I was so dumbstruck when the words "Here's your spear, Cato." formed on your perfect red lips, I thought it near impossible that your voice was almost as beautiful as your face, and the fact that you knew my name! Wow, I honestly think my heart stopped for a few seconds, because I'm pretty sure it knew that it would always belong to you. Our friendship grew from there. It's only been a few hours since you... God, I just miss you so much! I miss us talking every day, whether it be about how great the weather is, how our training's going, or how we'd always be friends. I don't know if you noticed, but I wanted much more than that, there's so much more I wanted to talk to you about, whenever you talked, everything else in the world just faded out, I just loved to watch your ruby red lips form the intricate words that you spoke so beautifully, and just daydream about kissing you with all the love and passion you deserve. Pretty soppy huh? The reaping must have been the worst day of my life, besides today of course! When your name got called out, the planet stopped spinning. Every drop of blood rushed from my face, and went straight to my heart, just to stop it from failing. In that moment, I knew what it would take to protect you, I must volunteer. I knew that to keep you safe, it would surely mean my death, but my love for you was so much greater, no force on Earth would stop me from giving you a long and happy life. On the night of the tribute parade, you looked so mesmerizing in your tribute outfit, like a shimmering golden angel! But of course, to me you're always an angel, I guess I loved that night so much because we were together, a pair, to be feared, to be praised, to be remembered. I didn't even care that those District 12 idiots were getting all the attention, because I don't need the attention of all those oblivious Capitol morons, it's only your gentle touch that I crave. If I thought you were beautiful on the opening night, I was in no way prepared for what was to come on the interview night! You had unimaginable beauty and grace, as if you had just floated down into that interview chair from heaven. I just want you to know that Glimmer means less than nothing to me! I was so sure that you were going to win, that I pretended to like Glimmer, because wouldn't it be so much easier for you to grieve the death of a sleazy, two-faced creep than it would your best friend? Everything I said to Glimmer, I was imagining it was you! When she died, I tried to act upset, but it killed me seeing you in so much pain over the stings! That's why I hated that little Everdeen brat, I can stand the pain, but to see you cry, I just wanted her dead. I wanted to kill her slowly, painfully, in every way I know she fears, just to get even for you. Why do you think I cut up Loverboy? I could not stand seeing you suffer. Things got better as you healed, and for a short time, I actually enjoyed our time in the games! It wasn't the killing I loved, it was you. Spending time with you is all that matters to me, it's so adorable seeing you giggle in the way that, I hope, only I can bring out of you. When our stuff was blown up, I was so angry, I had to take it out on that District 3 boy, just so I didn't say anything to upset you, that was a risk I was in way willing to take! I think you were the only person capable of calming me down, just feeling your hands on my body when you were trying to soothe me, it was just heaven in a touch. You're my personal drug, and I wanted to soak up every bit of you before the end of my life. When I heard Claudius Templesmith boom out that we could leave here, together, it was without a doubt the best moment of my life. Marvel was gone by then, so we could easily have done it, but within a few days, we had run out of food, and seeing you so hungry was torturous! I was on the verge of letting you eat me! Then the feast was announced and I knew that we had to go, I couldn't bear seeing you so hollow and famished. When we got there, I was so busy trying to figure out where Loverboy, Katniss and Thresh were that I didn't see you bolt out! Suddenly I saw a flash of red hair, and darted after the ginger girl, I was so close to getting her pack when I heard the worst sound I think I'll ever hear. You screaming in such terror was horrible, whenever there's a moment's silence I hear it all over again, it rips me apart. I heard you screaming my name, I ran faster than I could ever have imagined and got there just in time to see the rock crush your skull, by the time I got to you, Thresh was gone, but I refused to let you die alone, feeling you squeeze my hand and babble my name quietly completely drained the life out of me. There's not a moment when I don't wish that our fates could have been swapped, that it was me dying on the muddy floor, with your face being the last image I ever saw, I swore to protect you, and I let you down. I tracked down Thresh, I fought him, I pinned him down and slowly pierced his chest with one of your long curved knives, it was so slow, I made him beg for forgiveness before I ended his pathetic little existence.I heard a cannon a few minutes ago, and I know that there are only 3 of us left. I have a feeling that it was the red-headed girl who died, and that it's those pathetic little lovers left to face me. I want you to know that I'm going to make them pay! For the fortune, for the fame, for everything they might have that should be ours! Your death will not be in vain! I'm going to give half of my winnings to your family, because I know they feel exactly how I do, and it is tearing me apart. I'm going to win now. For us.

I love you so much baby, always have, and always will. Cato.


End file.
